A New Way To Think About "Misaligned" Careers

The shower was loud and wet, so my tears were being washed away so fast that for a moment, I wasn’t even sure if I was really crying. Until I heard a weep.

“We were such a perfect match. Made for each other. How will I find someone like this again?”

Yep, the person I dated.

We split and I was heartbroken.

But we moved on, time passed, I had new experiences, did some personal growth… and one day, I remembered him and felt … nothing. Actually, I felt relief.

I could suddenly see all the things I previously couldn’t see — why we were not a good match after all.

And this is where I was tempted to rewrite history: “We weren’t right for each other.” (and I had quite a few important reasons why)

But what if, at the time, we were?

I was willing to be with this person back then, genuinely feeling that we were a match. So while today I recognize our incompatibilities, back then, I was suited for someone like him.

I’ve found the same thing happens with work.

If you’re here, chances are you’ve explored “authentic work,” “soul-led career,” “purpose-driven life” and maybe even thought about escaping your 9-5 to “build your dream career.” And maybe it led to view your past careers as “misaligned” with who you are.

But what if they were right for who we were back then?

What if they only feel misaligned now because you’ve evolved into someone for whom they’re no longer a fit?

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Looking back, I used to think I made the wrong decision studying Pharmacy and that the decision got me on the wrong career path. I regretted the years I wasted following something that wasn’t “it”, when I could have been building what was.

But here’s what I was missing: it didn’t feel right to the version of me I’d become after those choices were made, after I collected new experiences, and after I discovered more about myself.

When I started my career, I genuinely wanted it. I wasn’t chasing what I thought I should want. I was actively choosing and pursuing work that gave me:

• International environment and English as primary language

• Team leadership roles

• Travel opportunities and work-from-anywhere flexibility

• Mentorship responsibilities and startup energy

• Financial security

My motivation wasn’t even status or proving anything. I was intentionally making my way into such work that I’d enjoy my life as much as possible. Learning skills I wanted to learn, experiencing what I wanted to experience… and my jobs were providing those opportunities.

And I still want all of the above things. So guess what? They’re still a part of what how I design my work today.

But somewhere along the way, I felt what I can only describe as… a force beneath my skin.

I felt called to study, explore, create, and talk about entirely different things.

This became obvious because I had what many people have — hobbies. Except they didn’t feel like “hobbies” to me. They wanted to take up more space in my life and that’s where it was clashing. Having to be present for something 40 hours every week meant I couldn’t be present to what felt most alive inside me. That’s why I was struggling despite having a great job.

But did this make my entire career history wrong? No.

Did this make my work entirely misaligned? No.

Just over time, as I was collecting new experience (from both my job and side projects) and getting to know myself better, the pieces that became misaligned were related to:

• the mission, what I was contributing to (where I was called to go next)

• my freedom to do it differently (the human thing of exploring my ideas and what my creativity can do)

• rhythm (my ideal was incongruent with the rhythm my work structure demanded)

I was experiencing new pieces of what was “aligned” outside of work already.

But if I wanted to grow and feel at my best moving forward, I needed to build them into my work.

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Here’s what this taught me about growth versus misalignment:

First, there was a phase when I was tempted to call my entire career trajectory wrong. But that was just a subtle way to deflect anger outward instead of taking responsibility for feeling stuck. When I noticed misalignment and wanted out and couldn’t figure out how to transition without blowing up my current stability.

The truth is it only started feeling wrong when I was living the daily reality of it, after I’d had contrasting experiences and personal development that changed me.

I evolved. The work that once fit who I was no longer fit who I’d become.

Second, there are two reasons that make us feel discomfort. There is discomfort from growth and discomfort of misalignment. One means you need to do this, the other means it’s taking you away from yourself. The challenge is to learn to distinguish between the two. Not always easy, especially when we can be experiencing both at the same time.

Third, my previous career wasn’t completely misaligned. I shined in many parts of it, not because I’d pretend anything, but because I felt genuinely in my element. It just took living inside it to figure out what specifically wasn’t a fit, and what I wanted to carry forward.

So I didn’t discard everything I’d built. I still carry the strengths, skills, wisdom I’d developed, and removed only the pieces that no longer fit while adding what was missing.

This is what I mean when I talk about creating aligned work. We evolve, and what aligns with us changes as we grow. What was once a perfect match may no longer fit when we step into the next version of ourselves.

That’s why it’s important to learn to love the process of adaptation because it’s one of those things you’ll be doing your entire life.

“One crucial distinction: adapting to circumstances versus adapting away from your core self.

Most people confuse the two and call it growth. Real adaptation means knowing which parts of yourself are non-negotiable and which parts need to evolve.”

—

Nik Pathran

from Identity-Driven Work

Stop torturing yourself about your past career choices.

Especially when we consume content about misaligned jobs, we can soon begin to twist our own story, making ourselves feel even worse.

Why do this to ourselves?

Instead of rewriting your career story as one giant mistake and circling “if only I knew this sooner,” ask yourself:

What have I learned about myself through all of this?

What do I want to build now to make it fit who I’ve become, and make space for who I’m becoming?

Then move.

That simple.

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Thank you for reading. It would be wonderful to meet you in the comments.

Until next time,

Klára