If You Feel Like You Have Nothing Unique To Offer... Let's Discover It Now

I was about 6 years old when I decided I wanted to have red hair. Long, red, CURLY! hair.

I saw a girl who had that kind of hair, and she looked stunning. I wanted to look stunning too. But unfortunately, my hair was brown, fine, and had to stay cut to shoulder-length maximum.

Once, my mother took me to a hairdresser and had her do curls for me. It looked stunning. But one night sleep and it was gone.

Then I saw another girl. Her hair was dark brown, thick, and loooong. Now wanted that hair. Obviously, I couldn’t have it either.

So, I kept on living, feeling like I wasn't lucky to have "good" hair and admiring others' hair. Every now and then, I'd see a stunning hairstyle and try to make my hair look like that. I had my Meg Ryan phase, Celine Dion phase, slick buns in my gymnastics era… trying to smooth it and then curl it… and honestly feeling like I’d never had my own hair figured out.

It took me 30 years to not just accept what was growing on my head, but to get creative with what I had.

I started to twist it into something I couldn’t even name, so it’s better if I show you:

Never seen it on anyone. I made it up.

And loved it! It looked original, and it really fit me. It felt like me.

Immediately, I started to be complimented on my hairstyle. What's more, a friend liked it so much she wanted to see how I do it and started to do her hair just like that.

Eventually, I wanted something new and invented another one. It was a big bun right at the top of my head.

Loved it. It felt like me.

And again, people couldn’t help but notice, and I even got compliments.

Then I got playful and invented another one - a pony tail with a simple twist but it suddenly looks different and fun.

Feels like… me.

That’s what I do to this day. I rotate between my hairstyles, and sometimes, when I’m in the mood to play again, I try out something new.

But this isn’t just about my hair. This story illustrates something we all need to learn in life: accept who we are and get creative with what we have, rather than wishing for what we don’t.

Until we do that, we miss what’s possible with what's already ours. It’s like we’re blind to our own resources, reaching for what we believe we need but don't have, instead of taking what we have and turning it into something uniquely ours.

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The fear that keeps us from being original

Here’s what I've been noticing: We fear doing things our own way.

It's like we're constantly worried about what it might look like, how it might sound, how others might perceive it. We fear investing time and effort into something that might not turn out good. And this fear keeps us doing things the safe way. Somebody else’s way. A way that was blazed by someone who went first, and then followed by so many that it became the norm we follow without even realizing it.

And it costs us.

Where your original work comes from

Someone always has to go first. Those who hesitate end up following. We admire the bold, we appreciate their creations, we wish we could do what they did, but we still hesitate to act like the person we admire.

What if you go first with something? Anything. A hairstyle, a writing style, or a product. Whatever feels like it comes from you.

Instead of just admiring other creators, and consuming what they’d done, become one yourself.

What would your creation look like?

Don’t know?

Want to know?

Try this:

• It emerges from exploration. Drop what you’ve absorbed about how to go about something you’re doing and explore a new way to do it.

  No need to go big right away. Feel free to start with your hair and just notice what comes through the experience.

• Also, consume less, create more. Or you’ll be mimicking without realizing it. Voice, style, ideas, philosophy… You won’t even be able to separate what’s yours from what you’ve absorbed.

One more thing…

When I asked people who they admire, and WHAT they admire about this person, what do you think came up?

Repeatedly… It was boldness in being themselves. Sticking out from the crowd. Being themselves no matter what others say.

People admire unique styles, original expressions, distinctive creations, unconventional lifestyles.

What we're drawn to is authenticity.

But we don’t just want to consume it, do we? We want to be it.

So be it.

What have you been wanting to do your way… hesitating… but will dare yourself to do it this week?

Let me know in the comments.

Klára

P.S. I've got spots for 3 people who want to discover their original expression and be supported as they put it out there.

Scary but worth it - it does something irreverisble to you.

Reply to this email/post and say "ORIGINAL" if you’re interested in being one of them.