Redesigning the matrix

🎁 And a gift

Since I was little, I was entranced with…

• Aesthetics.

• Creating stuff.

• Shaping forms with my fingers.

• The diversity among humans.

• The movement of the human body.

But as it goes, I needed to start learning things at school.

My parents expected me to be one of the shining stars in the class. The benefit of that demand is that I am lazer sharp on Czech grammar… among other things. The cost of that demand was that my interests, curiosities and creative explorations were overshadowed and even forbidden when my school grades weren’t reaching the top.

Years went by, and I grew up. I got employed and succeeded in building what I was taught to build. But I was profoundly unhappy.

My biggest pain point was that I had to do things I didn’t want to be doing, and I felt that it was keeping me from being involved with what I wanted to be doing. In other words, I was successfully living out the same pattern that was cultivated in me during upbringing, even when I was no longer dependent on my parents and COULD do what I wanted.

I wanted change so desperately but it felt as though I was caught up in a matrix and I struggled to break out. And I didn’t know why.

“Sooner or later something seems to call us onto a particular path. You may remember this something as a signal calling in childhood when an urge out of nowhere, a fascination, a peculiar turn of events struck like an annunciation: This is what I must do, this is what I’ve got to have. This is who I am.”

James Hillman

The best things in life happen as a result of something unintended and unexpected.

That is exactly how things started to shift for me.

One day, out of a sudden, to my surprise, I created a video.

I hadn’t intended to. I hadn’t done anything like this before. It wasn’t premeditated, it wasn’t encouraged, and there wasn’t even an idea preceeding this creation. It just emerged when I was playing with an image, driven by a need to surround myself with something my-kind-of-beautiful + my curiosity… “what will happen when I do this… and this… and this…”

This is what I was looking at after a few hours of being in this creative movement:

And then this happened shortly after:

And this, too:

And it continued.

I kept following the spark.

Each time I dropped into the space that I was making more and more familiar, I felt a surge of energy moving through me and I was giving birth to things I LOVED so much. Sometimes I couldn’t even grasp how these were MY creations!?

I gave myself full permission to immerse myself in whatever activity was creating this feeling. I followed the energy-giving, curiosity and creativity awakening things that start in the invisible realm of my expeirnece. I became uncompromising in cultivating an environment, inner and outer, in which I could follow this thing into becoming something visible, tangible and real.

"The importance of recognizing these early inclinations is that they are clear indications of an attraction that is not infected by the desires of other people. They are not something embedded in you by your parents… These inclinations can only be your own, reflections of your unique chemistry.”

The Daily Laws by Robert Greene

Now more than 3 years into this endeavour, I am still surprised (and I am not :) by what is emerging as I fuse it all together: my original inclinations & the skills and experience I have gained throughout my life so far.

What is happening is that all the means I found supportive along the way, everything I have immersed myself in to study, everything I have tested, and integrated, all the key insights sparked during my movement, as well as ‘upgrades’ facilitated by my mentors now fuel me with inspiration and orient my creativity to finding ways to support others in breaking out of the very same matrix in which I was once caught.

Artwork by K l a r a P r o s o v a

This is where I will pause with the storytelling part for today and transition to another one of my favourite parts: giftsgiving!

I am currently in the process of designing a phone wallpaper collection and my lastest favourite wallpaper, called “LOVED”, is my gift for you to enjoy.

It was inspired during our last Human Hour held by

Kelly Flanagan

on how we dismiss ourselves in our lives.

And if you wish to witness and participate in the process of how this collection is coming to life, this is your doorway:

Lastly, a single I have been obsessed with lately. If you’d like to feel your whole entire body being pulled into a different realm of experience, you want to give it a listen.

Until next time.

Klára