The old me used to experience this a lot: my chest contracting the moment someone commented on my self-expression or heart-driven pursuits in a way that hit a vulnerable spot—my heart.
In response, I would close off, detach, and climb up my proverbial mountain, or I would go into defense mode and aggression. Either way, each time a new trigger hit an old wound, I would fall back on the emotional reactions and behaviors that I’d developed during my childhood and adolescence.
You know that phrase, ”walking on eggshells,” right?
Yeah, I was those eggshells.
My body was coded with stories that have been keeping me stuck in a disempowered position… for a very long time. Stories such as, “Nobody is interested in what I have to say.” Or, “Nobody wants to receive what I have to share.”
This was making me show up confidently only when I was doing the things that I knew people would recognize, understand, validate, and celebrate, while I was hiding the very aspects of myself that are essential to my being; the parts that I can’t keep unexpressed; the most beautiful, important, and exquisite parts of me to experience!
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We all contain unconscious behavioral patterns that keep us spinning in the same loops, oftentimes recreating the very reality we want to change.
The thing about the unconscious is that we don't know it's there, or why we are doing what we are doing, or believing what we are believing. The only thing we see is that we are facing situations that we struggle to change, and we can’t figure out why.
There was something in me that had me struggle to take the things I was passionate about to the next level.
Why?
I didn’t know… yet.
But the wonderful thing I’ve learned is that I can spot those stuckness patterns and break the loops if I pay attention to my triggers and use them as an opportunity to transform.
NOW things started to change—both inside and out.
For most of my life, I thought that something or someone was keeping me from pursuing what I wanted to pursue, to create what I wanted to create. I was wrong. I was bound by my past.
I realized that I was longing for understanding, validation, and recognition of who I was from others—I was longing for a supply of something I didn’t receive when I was little because, growing up, I was experiencing most attention, recognition, celebration, kindness, and love when I was doing what was expected and asked of me, while the things I loved and was genuinely moved to pursue were overshadowed. And I hadn’t developed the capacity since then to stand tall and strong in my truth and fullness.
This is why I believe that you want to be triggered.
You may disagree at first because being triggered is uncomfortable, but I'm confident that you want the results that come from transforming the way you respond to those triggers.
If you begin to see how getting triggered is a path to get where you want to be, you may start to feel about them differently. I trained myself to recognize that tight, contracted feeling as a chance to move even closer to what I desired, wanted, and needed, and I believe you can do the same.
Welcome triggers—they draw your attention to the parts of you that are ready to transform for your next level to emerge.
Consider those who trigger you as allies who showed up to facilitate your upgrade. They do you a great service by hitting the parts of you that kept you spinning, parts you might not have seen on your own. They point you toward the next step on the path to becoming the kind of person who has the capacity to create the life you want.
And if you would like to be triggered by me into the version of yourself that is capable of moving into territories that you wanted to step into but haven’t dared, this is exactly what my new ebook is aiming to facilitate.
Celebrating you
Klára
Klara, great attitude towards triggers. We cannot make them disappear, but what we can do is to use them as a guiding lights towards the territories where we can expand, learn and grow.
Yes! This. When someone says to me that they are completely disconnected from their true self, I ask them if they have ever been triggered. When you are triggered, it is your true self asking for protection. Instead of giving all of your energy to the protection, give it to connection with your true self instead. This piece and what you are doing with your life is a beautiful example of that!